uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
