Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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