Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am available for nakedness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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