so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
