I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have post one night stand depression
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
