so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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