Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize