I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
