the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
