Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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