I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
