watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
