YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
