This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
