your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
