dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
