i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
