You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
