he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
