Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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