I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize