I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The air was thick with penises
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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