Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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