your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
