then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize