lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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