If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
