my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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