She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
nutella sex= disaster
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
