is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
