But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You dont lie about slip and slides
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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