You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
