I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Vodka?
Forever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
