Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
