Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize