I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
