1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
