this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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