After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
