If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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