in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
