turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the raccoons are back...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize