Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
