Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
