Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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