i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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