I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
