Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize