it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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