you guys were way drunker than both of me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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