you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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