Screwed.edu
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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