It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
