Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
