Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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