And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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