Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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