so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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