We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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