Who did Billy Mays play for?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
