I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love you. Go after that dick
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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