We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
