well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
