as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
